The Tell-Tale Heart by Edgar Allan Poe

Happy Halloween!
This is a great story to enjoy on Halloween. It is another story of a homicidal maniac. This guy is beyond crazy he develops believes that his victim is a nice man he even says he loves him. He ponders why he killed him and comes up with "I think it was his eye".

He is not sorry for what he has done he feels he has plenty of justification. As he confesses he continually tells us he is not crazy. He believes no madman could plan this murder as he did. No madman could stand quietly in the mans room for hours waiting for the right opportunity. The more he pleads his case the more insane he sounds.

The best part of the story is how he got caught. He kills the man, cuts him up and hides him under the floor. He cleans up his mess and is quite pleased with himself. Then the police come to investigate a scream. He is so confident he wont get caught he entertains the police. He then begins to hear a heart beat. it keeps getting louder and louder until he finally confesses.

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The Cask of Amontillado by Edgar Allan Poe

The Cask of Amontillado is a very dark short story. The story is of a man who has vowed revenge. He is obsessed with his revenge, plotting and planning the perfect revenge. This man has lost all his humanity, he goes about the business of killing someone like it is just a normal event. This story is his confession.

Montressor the killer, starts the story off professing his revenge for being insulted. He says he had to endure many injustices from Fortunato, the victim, in the past and this insult was the last straw. You never learn the truth behind the motive. You do know right of the start that this deed was done some fifty years ago and he has never been caught. He tells his tale with great delight relishing in the perfection of the deed.

This mad man plots to trick his victim into following him home to taste a wonderful wine. He acts as though he is not sure it is what he was told and he needs expert advice. He often mentions he can get someone else, all the while knowing that he is using reverse psychology. He even tells his servants to stay in the house to ensure that not a one will be there when he brings his victim home. He knows that Fortunato is already drunk and gives him more to drink as he leads him through tunnels under his estate. They are filled with bones and death but he keeps leading him further. They eventually come to a place Montressor has prepared for Fortunatos final resting place. He chains him up and seals him in a tiny room and leaves him there to die.

I really enjoyed reading this and there is so much I could write about this but I am just going to say it is really worth the read. It has been some of the most fun I have had reading lately. I have listened to or read a lot of books lately. They have been text books, other educational of inspirational non-fiction, a few classics and one Christian fiction book. I have to read Moby Dick and study Walden more and I am not really looking forward to that. Even thought the tale is gruesome it was much more interesting that what I am reading these days.

Poe seems to really represent all that is the mind of a psychopath. He is so well versed at representing a killer you would think he knew from personal experience. Just read it you won't be let down.

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Good Day Turns Bad

I was having a good day today, then I got my Poe paper back. I got a C+ before the extra credit that takes it to a B. I worked so hard on that paper, I was in tears when I asked about scheduling an appointment with the professor to help me with my writing. I am about to cry now. I am starting to feel like a fish out of water. My college experience is not helping me with my switch in major. The teachers expect something different.

I am reconsidering going full time next semester. I may have to spend a lot of extra time learning about different writing styles. My professor did say that writing in the health and humanities college is not the same. He said he would be happy to help me so at least that is good. I have already had to do a lot of extra reading to help me understand my text books.

I did have a positive meeting with one of my other professors, she said I was doing well and she was also very willing to help if I get stuck. I am really feeling like I am in over my head. When I registered for this semester I was told that if I shouldn't have any trouble changing from The College of Health and Human Services with a BA in Social Work to The College of Arts and Science for a degree in English. I graduated with a 3.8 grade point average.

I am not going to give up but I may have to slow the process down a bit more than I would like. I don't get bad grades this is not acceptable to me. This will lower my GPA. I have to get A's on my last two assignments.

I am also going to have to work on my portfolio for my Creative Writing class and give it to him for review so I can figure out how I am doing.

So if I am not around for a while I am working on school work. I am so disappointed I am going to have to focus, focus, focus.

I do intend to get 2 more Poe posts up by the 31st.

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Addicted to Podcasts; Too Much Multitasking is Driving me Insane

Well I love the Grammar Girl podcast and the Dave Ramsey Show podcast as well as Mark Gungor and Debbie Chavez on the Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage podcast. I have found a few others that I like as well. I have found some on mythology but they require some concentration on my part so I have not really listened to them. Most of the ones I listen to I have some prior knowledge of or know the style of the speakers so I can fill in the gaps. I just don't really miss much if I have to pay more attention to the road or the dishwasher.

So anyone know of a good book review podcast or a dark fiction or poetry podcast? I have yet to run across anything like that yet. I have not looked that hard because I don't want to use my time that I should be working on school work listening to podcasts.

I have to write a paper on three Poe killers today. I want it perfect so I have read the stories and several commentaries and essays on each story. I know a lot of what I want it to say but I am having trouble with organizing. I suppose if I just start typing I can copy and paste until it means something to the professor. It will be a challenge thought because I hear he tends to like it to read like an essay without the use of "I".

At least this paper will be fun; this weekend I have to read Moby Dick. Will someone please tell me it gets better after the first chapter??!! I have tried reading and listening to this book but it just so hard to get past the first ten pages. In the Scarlett Letter I thought I was doomed until I finished the Custom House even Walden becomes an easier read after the Economy the first and very long chapter.

I have a great story to tell about yesterday and why I have to do all my homework today! I was in my first class of the day. I have three classes they are on Mondays and Wednesdays only. I didn't feel great in the morning but I proceeded to get on the treadmill and go on like nothing was wrong. It was not like I was really sick I just felt kind of disconnected, I thought it was because I got up early. So I am sitting in class and I realize I can't see the professors face. At this point I know it is a migraine but the auras are usually not that bad for me. I couldn't see the lines on the paper I was writing on and eventually I stopped trying to concentrate it was making me feel like I would pass out. By the end of class I could see again but I felt dizzy and out of it. I couldn't drive so I went to get something to eat and while I am standing in line my face starts to feel numb. I went to the salad place only because it had the shortest line. Once I sat down my left hand and forearm start to go numb. This is bad because I am left handed and it is always scary when body parts loose feeling for no apparent reason.

So sit and eat very slowly until the symptoms go away. I have no medicine with me so all I can do is wait. I usually have time from the onset of symptoms to the headache. I was lucky and this time the symptoms stopped long enough for me to get to my car (you don't get to park near buildings on campus) but as I was driving home the headache was getting worse. I drove slow in case I needed to pull over. When I got home I took 2 Tylenol 3 I had from my last surgery because I couldn't find my other medicine. I went to bed and got up around 4 still with a headache but not nearly as bad. I was wiped out still from the whole thing. I missed my last two classes and I was not really happy about it. I had to try not to stress out about it because it would not help the remaining headache.

I just have to hope I didn't miss too much, I NEVER miss class. Just like I never miss work even if it takes me getting towed in. I just don't like to feel irresponsible. Most teachers allow 1-3 missed classes and I suppose that is what these days are for. I still don't like to miss.

Well now I have loads of work to do so I must leave now.
I love comments!!! Later this week I will pose some questions about the direction this blog is taking! I am not able to read a Dark Novel each week so I want to ask my readers what they might be interested in hearing about. Maybe some dark short stories or poems. That I could take a lot less time reading and could post short excerpts.

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Is Life at Walden Pond Plausible Today?

First order of business is to say I am sorry I have not had much time to read dark novels lately. I miss my fun reading it is like some of my soul has been ripped away. Right now I have to focus on reading assignments for school.

Does anyone have any tips for getting through Walden without falling asleep! This book is so boring to me. I have read through quite a bit of it but I just don't seem to be able to absorb what he is saying. It really seems like a boring sermon from someone who has spent way too much time thinking about himself. Not that he doesn't have some good things to say; I am starting to feel like he wasted a lot of his time writing the same thing over and over again. I find him to be selfish and self-centered instead of self-reliant. To each his own I guess. I place people and relationships high on my priority list. I don't like being isolated but at the same time I do like some time to myself to evaluate life.

For one his mode of life isn't plausible in the state of the United States. If it is ever possible I want to live in a home with plenty of land to grow a lot of my own food and a house that produces its own energy. It will be expensive to build this home so we are putting away money for it now. The problem is that most of the practical and natural sources of energy are going to be or already are regulated by the government. So if anyone has any ideas on this issue I would love to hear them. I don't like how the government regulates everything these days but that is a different post all together

My professor has a lot to say about this book and I am having trouble reading it. I already have made a lot of changes in my life that I suppose make me different. I catch slack for not wanting to go into debt for anything. I can't get my husband to use a debit card instead of a credit card but always pay the bill at the end of the month. I got my family on the only by for the little ones for Christmas plan but can't get my husbands family to go there. I don't like debt I never have and if it were up to just me I would sell the duplex a lot cheaper, and keep renting until we had enough money to build our house.

There were not as many issues with health insurance and government regulation of natural resources when this book was written. My professor seems to think that in our society the translation is not to compromise your self. He gave examples of very smart men working menial jobs because they didn't want to compromise something. He says they are the happiest people he knows. If they truly are then I see no problem with that. I just don't like the idea that everyone who compromises for something or some one is somehow a lesser person. I think that someone who suffers a job they hate for a time to get where they want to be is just as noble as someone who refuses that job and learns to live a different lifestyle. I also think that family and relationships are very important.

When thinking about this book I may not agree with a lot of it but it has challenged me to look at my relationships. They are the most important things to me and I need to be a better, wife, daughter, sister and friend. I need to spend less time looking at others flaws and more time just listening and learning. The thing is that it is not just a selfless gesture for me; one of the most important things to me is having people who care. I need people around me, a few good friends and family.

I could talk about this all day I get the sense that Walden is not going to wrap up and I am never going to enjoy reading it. I would love to hear comments.

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Froggaritaville's Bookcase: Giveaway!! Tall Dark and Fangsome by Michelle Rowen!

Froggaritaville's Bookcase: Giveaway!! Tall Dark and Fangsome by Michelle Rowen!

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Patricia's Vampire Notes: Lucan by Susan Kearney - Contest

Patricia's Vampire Notes: Lucan by Susan Kearney - Contest

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Journal Entry October 9th: Nightmares

Today I am starting a journal entry section here on my Dark Novels blog. These posts will help me to develop some characters. They will be full of my emotions and thoughts but they will also be rather fictional at times. I am going to explore my deepest darkest thoughts as well as what I think others dark thoughts would be. To be honest I want to ad the fiction element so I can use parts of me more openly and no one knows what is fiction and what is not. Please don't ask me to break it down for you.

October 9, 2009
I am tired today, I didn't sleep well. I had that nightmare again; same theme another story. My husband cheating on me this one was strange as many of them are. He went to live in a college dorm or something, who knows why, I only remember the cheating part. This one was a little different thought and probably reflects a change in my own thinking. I gave him a "her or me" ultimatum and one week to decide. Usually I am begging him to change his ways and showing my desperation. This time I could still feel my desperation in the dream but I stood up for myself. I wanted change, and desperately wanted to save the marriage but, I was not the poor helpless victim this time.
The worst part of these dreams is how real they feel. There is no possible way my husband is cheating on me unless he is actually doing it on work hours. Most of the time we are together, working or sleeping.It is however my deepest fear it is even worse than death for me. I would rather die than live through this. I would rather he die than leave me for someone else. Now I am not a total nut I don't actually want him to die it is my journal so I am telling the truth. I don't want to die either but i just can't imagine life without him. We have had so much turbulence in our relationship I don't even know why I feel so dependent on him.
I feel like everything will fall apart if we are not together. I have been living a lie. I tell everyone everything is okay when it really is not. We are just two beings occupying the same space, we barely talk. It is becoming hard to remember what I used to love about him. I am sad all the time. The depression reaches out like the scythe of a grim reaper pulling me down into the pit of despair. Then I see a glimmer of hope now and then and I hang on or ride a small wave until I can no longer fool myself.
Maybe I just over think everything I just don't know who I am any more. I need to learn who I am and what I want to be. That is part of why this dream took a turn, I have changed from thinking I could love my husband into changing to deciding that I am going to fight for my marriage but from now on it is going to be on different terms. I just have to figure out what those terms are.

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The Scarlet Letter

I read The Scarlet Letter for my American Romanticism class. I think I may have read this in high school but I didn't remember much. I loved this book, especially since our teacher filled us in on Puritan culture at those times. I went to a Christian school and I think they omitted a lot from our teachings. We really didn't learn anything about the religious justifications for slavery, witch hunts, or the detestable punishments for "sins."

We also read "Young Goodman Brown" and "Ethan Brand" by Nathaniel Hawthorne and I liked them too. When I have some extra time I plan to read more by Hawthorne. I love the messages that he is one of the writers who seems to believe in relationships. He seems to see family as important. Some of the others writers we are discussing are all about "the self" and that doesn't appeal to me. Hawthorne doesn't seem to think of the self as the only important thing, yet he challenges the religious beliefs. He while Hester wears her sin on her chest she is much more liberated than those who have to hide their scarlet letters.

I am a Christian and as a young person I believed what my parents and teachers taught me. I saw how wrong that could be when I got older and started questioning those beliefs. I have found that I still believe in the Bible but I also believe that there are many ways a person can interpret the verses. I don't believe in old testament law and get very irritated with people who pick and choose "laws" that everyone must follow. So these stories are resonate with me on a deep level.

In case you don't know anything about the the stories they are all about sins. In the Scarlet Letter Hester and a clergyman have sex that results in a child and her husband comes back after he was thought to be dead. Hester is punished by wearing a scarlet A on her chest and Dimsdale (the minister) has to bear his sin in his heart. Chllingworth (the husband) is revenge personified. His whole goal in life is to make Dimsdale pay for his sin.

Goodman Brown is taking a trip into the woods to essentially become a sinner, on his way he sees many people he respects and believes to be wholesome people. In the end he denies everyone in his including his wife and children.

Ethan Brand has gone away to search for the unpardonable sin, he has left everyone and placed his search over the lives of others. He begins to treat humans as subjects of experiments.

Have fun reading.

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