Monday Rant: No Soliciting Sign

Okay I am so tired of the doorbell in the middle of my work out. So I need some help with a catch all sign. I would love to use a picture of my German Shepherd and use a quote from a Kim Harrison novel "Day-sleeper solicitors will be eaten" but that could get me sued.

I get kids wanting to shovel my snow or mow my grass, we do that ourselves. I get all kinds sales people and people pushing religion and politics. I don't want any of these people to come to my door. My husband works a third shift and he sleeps during the day. When the bell rings or they pound on the door my dog goes crazy baking and I really don't want to answer it in my work out clothes all sweaty. I want something that really gets their attention and then a list of who is not allowed to disturb me. I don't care if I have to print several sheet of paper and tape them to my outer door.

I have been known to let my dog out on the porch and let her bark while I talk to the people from inside but they just talk over her barking until she quits. She is really friendly and she calms down in a minute or two and the solicitors must be used to that. I really wish they would leave us alone right now the only people I can easily get rid of are people asking about home improvement issues. I just tell them I rent because I do rent this place but I own a duplex two blocks away.

Maybe it should say I am a nudist and I don't answer the door or I am a hermit don't disturb me or I am a serial killer don't ring the doorbell unless you want to wind up in my freezer. I don't like being rude but really who wants to be disturbed by a stranger selling something.