Thursday, May 28, 2009

New Poem

>> Thursday, May 28, 2009

I wrote a new poem today and was hoping for some feedback, I don't know if I like the title. I do like to keep my poems short with a lot left to interpret.

Temptation

Darkness and Despair
I crave
Flesh and Flames
I lust
Betrayed and Beaten
I fall
Abandoned and Alone
I cry
Deserted and Desperate
I die

I have been toying with a few more lines but they don't seem to work.

4 comments:

  • DeSeRt RoSe
     

    Nice poem.. me like it :)

  • Rose Works Jewelry
     

    I think the title works - I found myself reading through and thinking of the different ways it could apply...

  • Jeff King
     

    I think the title is proactive and grabbs attention, but i feel their are better names that describe the tone of thses peom.

    i do like the poem, it says allot and these are the titles that forced their way into my mind while reading...

    Translation or Transformation theses are deep titles and might not make sinse to anyone but myself.
    the title that i liked the most out of titles flowing through my mind as i considered what the poem was telling me is.. Desire or Desires

    but nice work and seems to flow and convey a lot of idea or thought with very little words

  • Linda Ellen
     

    When I read the poem, it reminded me of a book I've read called Devil May Cry by Sherrilyn Kenyon. That's just me though, out of personal experience. Everyone who reads your poem will interpret it in a different way and relate it to themselves or to someone else/something they know. I like the poem. I'd love to read your other works. =)

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